Yes, paradise city is calling at last: time to switch off and enjoy! Or not? Perhaps something is creeping up on you? You want to relax — cocktail in hand, and most likely you can't because you're still stuck in the roles you hold in daily life.
Think of a typical family situation. Take a moment to identify with the roles that you normally occupy: master of logistics, caretaker, head cook, organizer, and/or perhaps the breadwinner, always on the go, responsible for making money. And then there are the kids. They spend most of the school year being students, soccer players, video gamers, and/or passengers in the car as you drive them from one activity to the next.
When summer hits, the whole family system gets shaken up. The kids are suddenly no longer at school, and the way that you have been organizing your week no longer works. You need to step into something else. We don't often think about the impact of these changes on our relationships. We think it is a personal problem.
When we go on vacation together it is normal to have a dream that the moment you arrive, you will ALL relax and magically have fun. However the usual roles are right there to grab you! Do you really want to spend your vacation organizing everything, being responsible in exactly the same way that you are at home?
Your answer might be: “Yes, I do.” Okay, that’s fine, as long as it is a conscious choice. Most roles take us over without our permission. The relationships we are in need certain roles to be filled. For example, when you have small children, they are filling the role of the children, dependent upon others, and they will have certain needs. Someone older needs to be organizing activities, rest time, meals, etc. Does that someone always have to be you?
With circumstances changing, roles need to change as well. When we allow ourselves some downtime, we can take a closer look at those roles and consider how we can take some vacations from old habits.