Marita wrote a wonderful blog last week titled “It's Easier Said Than Done.” It was all about how ORSC sounds so straight forward in the course room but can be so hard to live! This got me thinking about the complexities of relationship and I feel huge compassion for us all, considering all with which we are working. How can we Walk the Talk a little easier?
First I have to mediate between the many secret selves and sub personalities in my internal system which is no easy task. How do I get my Over Achiever self to stop abusing my Beach Hippie? The Gym Bunny and the Meditator are competing for time. And can somebody please get the Kids to stop whining! Some days I am astonished that any of us can walk straight given the many voices inside. And yet, somehow it all adds up to that beautiful integrated gemstone of who we are, full of rich facets but with our own solidity.
And to top it all off, now my system needs to relate to your system, with all your complexity. Truth be told, our relationship is a huge group process. No matter how much I care for someone, there will always be some of my selves that just don’t get along with some of your selves. I might love 75% of you, tolerate 15% but there is the 10% I just can’t stand- and that’s a good ratio.
Now here is another fun idea. When one of my selves interacts with one of yours, of course, it all unfolds within The 3rd Entity. Each combination gives rise to a different feeling within the third entity. For example, when my Meditator relates with your Mystic we are well aligned and the experience within the relationship will be strongly spiritual. But if one of my triggered selves is interacting with one of your triggered selves we will create a very different “entity” within the relationship. Is it fair to say that our Third Entity also has sub personalities and secret selves depending on which of me is interacting with which of you?
What do you think? No wonder it’s not easy to be in right relationship. And yet, and yet just look at the beautiful and infinite number of different dances you and I can have as our myriad selves interact. Oh the Places We’ll Go!